Goodbye, Winnipeg

Here is a little photo-essay paying tribute to the years I just spent living in Winnipeg. It's definitely not as appealing as the photography on Winnipeg Love-Hate, which is a photo-blog by someone with a particularly talented eye.




These are various picturesque scenes of Winnipeg in all her April glory...











and finally...

ESCAPE!

So, We're Leaving...

...you're probably not surprised, as a New Yorker in Winnipeg is usually a fish out of water. And water there seems to be a lot of, as the threat of flooding looms large. But before I say my goodbyes, I wanted to touch on what I feel are the strong points of Winnipeg - the things that make an otherwise miserable place bearable.

• TenSpa: This luxurious spa at the Fort Garry Hotel is a truly pleasurable experience, although the massages are rather wimpy. The spa boasts a Turkish bath, delicious complementary refreshments, and fragrant skin treatments. It also boasts New York prices, but this may be forgiven.

• Dental Offices: Although the publicly-funded medical care in Winnipeg is antiquated and sometimes downright scary (I know of a heart attack patient who has been awaiting surgery for three weeks), you'll find state-of-the-art dental care in Winnipeg (probably because it is privately funded). The hygienists at the Cholakis office offer one of the most pain-free cleanings you're likely to find. Unfortunately, the dentist will not see you unless you come in for a separate appointment, so unless you do this, your X-rays will not be analyzed. The office is often booked months in advance, but once you do finally get in, there's a playroom with Wii and Guitar Hero for the kids.
  

• Support for New Moms: Winnipeg offers an unparalleled array of free and low-cost services for new moms. There are weekly new mom support groups, $2 indoor playgrounds with toys and rides, free classes at which you can make a scrapbook while people read to your child, and music and crafts classes. Many of these groups give out free, healthy snacks. The long, cold, depressing Winnipeg winters make attendance at these groups almost essential for mental health.

• A Rich Musical Tradition: There's a great tradition of vocal music and folk music in Winnipeg with festivals like Folkfest. The Mennonite religious group, which is prevalent here, is forbidden from dancing, so they channel all of their energy into singing, with impressive results.

• Baked Expectations: A slice of cake at this bakery costs $8, but it's one of the most delicious $8 of cake (or cheesecake, or pie) that you're likely to taste. According to a friend of mine who used to work there, they use organic eggs and butter and the highest-quality ingredients. I like the Key lime pie, old-fashioned chocolate cake, chocolate-banana cream pie, and chocolate cake with orange mousse.
  

• Some Lovely People: Although I feel that Winnipeg is an awfully provincial place, I was lucky to make some of the most wonderful friends here (some of whom plan to leave). Just in case one of them is reading this blog, please do not take offense: none of this is directed at you.

Goodbye, and goodbye to paying 20% more than Americans for identical products! (By the way, it's snowing out today.) Have a great summer, once it finally gets here, and don't get bitten by too many mosquitoes!

Ha.

The joke's on the New York Times, and... Winnipeg.

Winnipeg: Not the Place to Get Heart Surgery

This is one good reason why. Another good reason: a neighbor's daughter had a heart attack three weeks ago, and she's still waiting for surgery. There are not enough doctors, nurses, or beds.

Do Winnipeggers Hate NYC?

At least some of them want to blow it up.

Just Another Inconvenience...

Male Strippers in Winnipeg

Interestingly, one of the main Google search terms for this Website is the above. I hate to break it to you, but if this is what you are looking for... you won't find it on this blog.

TDBank Canada Distrust

Early on in the history of this blog, I wrote about how difficult it is to establish credit in Canada if you've recently moved here. (I've also heard the same about the U.S. from Canadians.) But I've recently encountered banking difficulties here (specifically with TDBank Canada Trust) that are unheard of in the U.S.

U.S. checks take about a month to clear in a Canadian account, and unfortunately, if you deposit one, a Canadian bank can decide to freeze your entire account for an unspecified amount of time. This means that no matter what kind of funds you put in your account, you have no access to them. This is what just happened to me. I deposited a U.S. check and was told that it would be held for a month. Apparently, this also ensured that the Canadian checks I deposited afterwards would also be held; I literally have no access to any of the money in my account for at least ten more days. A call to the customer service line proved useless, as this was apparently a branch decision.

Where to Stay in Winnipeg

If you're still considering visiting Winnipeg after reading this blog, here is one of the delightful lodging options in this town (I refuse to use the word "city"). Conveniently located in the hippie Wolseley area, it apparently accepts a variety of payment options. (Grandpa's gold tooth or Great-Grandma's wedding ring might be suitable.)

Prairie Pride

I made a realization this week about Winnipeg. The people who live here are profoundly proud of it. They are also, at heart, rural. Longtime Winnipeggers (I'm not referring to recent immigrants and refugees) talk of the mystique of the flat prairie, of things like "hoarfrost," of being connected to the land. Local singers write songs about the snow and the joys of being prairie people.

Also, the culture is analog, not digital. There are used CD stores (even in the mall), video stores and independent bookstores. There's no such thing as FreshDirect. The secretaries at health clinics riffle through endless sheafs of paper files - nothing has been digitized. The cashiers at the nicest children's store in town handwrite receipts and figure out taxes with a calculator. It sometimes feels as though one is living in 1975.

So, I think it's a mistake to categorize Winnipeg as a city. That's the mistake I made when I moved here. And that's why it's so foreign to me. My family doesn't have roots here, and I wouldn't know a farmer if one smacked me over the head with an apple. I'm used to places where the city center is where all the action is. I'm not a tractor person or even a car person. The heart of Winnipeg is not in the six-block-wide "downtown." It's in the prairie.

Finally, I will close by quoting a post from a Winnipeg message board that sheds a lot of light on the mentality here - the fierce "pride," if you will:

"I actually live in Winnipeg, I have for the past 21 years and would never move. This is my home. Those of you who have never been here, don't judge Winnipeg until you have. Those of you who have only visited, you're just not as tough as the rest of us. It takes a truly special person to live in Winnipeg, to put up with temperatures anywhere from +40C to -50C, snowstorms in April and the worst mosquitoes you'll ever see. Winnipeggers are some of the toughest sons of bitches you'll ever meet, especially ones who are lifers - just look at what we must endure. Sure we say Winnipeg is a s***hole, but only Winnipeggers can say it because, well, we live here... to anyone else to who says it we have two words for you: F*** you! I'm a proud Winnipegger!!! Wouldn't live anywhere else."

Just about says it all, doesn't it?

It's York Ave...

Except it isn't.

More Canadian Foods I Don't Understand

Pickled eggs. Is this really the optimal way to enjoy the flavor of an egg? And yet there seems to be a sizable amount of people who enjoy this dubious snack - even going so far as to post recipes.

Fortunately, there's a way to get that taste out of your mouth. New York Flatbreads (yes, they're really from New York; they're from Westbury, not NYC, but New York nonetheless). Available
at The Forks.

On the Positive Side

I realize that this blog might read like an onslaught of negativity, so I thought I might write about some of the good things about Winnipeg.

• There are some genuinely nice people. (Usually not on the bus, though.)

• There are a few good restaurants. (I wrote about them below.)

• From what I understand, Folklorama, the Fringe Festival and the Folk Festival are enjoyable summer attractions. (I haven't been.)
  

• As with many economically challenged places (say, Bushwick), there is a thriving artistic underground.

• It's multicultural.
  

That's it for now! I have to go throw away my suede boots because the melting snow (yes, there's a rare thaw today) waterlogged them and ruined them. What was I thinking.

Nickel and Dimed

There's a famous book called Nickel and Dimed: On Not Getting By in America by Barbara Ehrenreich. But in my opinion, you haven't been nickled and dimed until you've moved to Winnipeg. (This picture was taken at a local grocery store.)

A recent article in the Globe and Mail talks about how Canadian companies charge much higher prices for the same goods you can find in the U.S. This practice persists even though the Canadian dollar has basically achieved parity with the American dollar.

Frostnip, Frostbite and Fear Thereof

It's been about -10F lately (without windchill). I went out for a few minutes today - I know I should've worn gloves, but I figured I wouldn't be out for very long. The skin on the back of my hands is now red, bumpy, and feels like it's been burned.

"What do you think this is?" I asked my husband. "Windburn, or something?"

"Maybe it's frostbite," he offered helpfully.

"FROSTBITE? Isn't that something you can die from?"

"Well, I'm sure there are milder cases," he replied. So off I went to Google to find out if I had frostbite, and I found this helpful article for expats at the North Pole. Thankfully, I do not have frostbite.

What Happens If You Slip

This is a typical unshoveled Winnipeg sidewalk. As you can imagine, it's very difficult to navigate. Today I saw a 60-year-old man lying flat on his back on the road next to the sidewalk. I wondered if he'd had a heart attack while trying to walk - I'm sure it's happened before. But I think he'd just slipped and fallen, as he was lucid.

A couple young men called the police for the man. Two policemen arrived, parked their car in front of the man, and told him that they couldn't do anything, as they weren't medically trained. They said that at least they'd blocked the road - but they hadn't really done that. To really block the man's supine form from oncoming traffic, they would've had to park their car sideways and lay some cones down on the ground. But the way they were parked, a car could have easily swerved around them and hit the man.

Five minutes passed. A fire truck arrived. The firemen produced a blanket with which they covered the man, and then they drove away. The man continued to lie in the road in 10-degree weather (-24 with the windchill). I don't know how long he lay there, or who (if anyone) finally figured out a way to get him off of the road, but I was watching the scene for at least 15 minutes.

How About Some Whipped Cream and Jimmies On Your Steak?

Here's another example of the peculiar predilection for overly sweet flavors I find at many Winnipeg restaurants. Shrimp with pineapple, grapes and peaches, really? Might as well add some chocolate syrup, whipped cream and a maraschino cherry on there. And this is one of the better restaurants in Winnipeg.

A Real Taste of Winnipeg

I was talking to a couple of Winnipeg moms the other day when the subject of bannock came up. "What on earth is that?" I asked. "It's a popular food in Winnipeg," they said. So, what exactly is this local delicacy? It's a fried bread made with melted lard that has long been, um, "enjoyed" by fur traders. I assume that whoever came up with this idea suffered from a bad case of tastebud frostbite. These days, bannock is often eaten by survivalists and the nutty outdoorsmen who celebrate the annual Festival du Voyageur, which is held in a park during the coldest month of the year (check out the appealing menu that festivalgoers will enjoy when they're finished sampling all the pea soup recipes). Incidentally, one of the other exciting activities at this festival is a beard-growing contest - I imagine it's kind of like watching paint dry. (Sort of like living in Winnipeg.)

Today's Weather

Temperature in NYC right now: 32 degrees. Temperature in Winnipeg: -15. (That's without windchill.) I don't think I'm going out today.

Strolling in the Tundra

There are some saving graces about Winnipeg, but you'll have to dig for them under feet of snow. (Literally! Have you ever tried navigating a stroller through snowdrifts over sheets of ice?) One such saving grace is the Wolseley Family Centre, which provides a supportive place for frazzled mothers and their 0-6-year-olds. There's a playroom with a daily snack hour for kids, free cooking classes, a baby music class, and more. Unfortunately, the centre, ahem, center, is also home to some of the more troubled elements of Winnipeg society. A friend of mine had a homeless man remark on the physical beauty of her baby and indicate his desire to touch her, and today an unhinged woman on the couch was ranting about how her partner needed to have sex with a different woman every day.

It Isn't All Baconnaise

One popular delicacy which is found at Winnipeg Safeways is Baconnaise. This culinary travesty can be poured on anything from iceberg lettuce to French fries. But I'd like to use this post to write about some of the good food you can find in town, although I assume you're never going to eat it, since you're not going to visit.

True, there are a lot of heartbreakingly bad restaurants, and places that seem promising until you hit the main course, but there are a few bright spots. In my opinion, the best foodie-type places are Segovia, a nouveau tapas place, Billabong, an adventurous Australian restaurant in a dive-bar atmosphere, and the Inn at the Forks, which offers a side of jazz with the food. You can get a good steak at Hermano's. Avoid Sydney's, which clumsily executes a seemingly haute cuisine menu, every Italian restaurant including Buccaccino's, Mona Lisa and Bellissimo, and almost all Thai restaurants (except Bangkok Thai Restaurant - this place is consistently good). At Fude, the food is mostly too sweet (people have a fondness for cranberries on top of everything here).

For more casual fare, the various Stella's locations offer a pretty good breakfast (although the pancakes are overrated - they're much better at Billabong's brunch). (Note: Do NOT order eggplant parmesan at Stella's; it's the worst I've ever had.) There are good egg wraps and smoothies at Fresh Cafe, although I'm not a fan of the home fries or sweet potato latkes. At The Forks, there is a surprisingly good fish and chips stand. Confusion Corner Bar & Grill has good sweet potato fries and bison back ribs. Baked Expectations sells terrific cakes and cheesecakes, while Lilac Bakery (fashioned after Magnolia) and the new Cupcake Barista (bizarre name) have excellent cupcakes. Burritos Del Rio is fresh and cheap (it's sort of like Chipotle). Good Chinese food is scattered around town, but you will probably find most places disappointingly bland. Tasty Indian food is much easier to find - most people fancy the East India Company or Clay Oven. For Japanese, there are only two or so Japanese-owned restaurants, and one seems to be slipping. I've always had decent meals at Edohei, however.

(I was not impressed by any of the food I ate in St. Boniface, the nominally French area, but I have not eaten at In Ferno's, the most well-known eatery there.)

Before I close, I should mention that you really can't get a decent bagel with lox and cream cheese here, and certainly not a good knish or bowl of matzo ball soup. I am a New Yorker, after all...

Cabs

Here's just another little note. Cabs in Winnipeg are actually more expensive than those in NYC. In Winnipeg, the starting fare is $3.50, as opposed to $2.50 (although NYC cabs never used to have a nighttime charge or an extra fee that is supposedly going to the MTA), and it goes up in ten-cent increments about every other second.

Also, if you want to pay with a credit card in Winnipeg, the cab driver will pull out one of those ancient carbon-copy thingamajigs and hand you a pen that is running out of ink - nothing automated here.

One Advantage to Winnipeg

After a brutal 12-hour trip from NYC (flight delays oh my!), I naturally caught a bad cold. The only medication that usually works on me is Allegra, and I wondered how I might get some. Would I have to submit to an onerous clinic visit in order to get a prescription?

I was pleasantly surprised to find that Allegra is available at Shoppers Mart without a prescription. In the U.S., people use it to make crystal meth, but it's so damn expensive in Canada that people sniff hairspray or glue instead. So, people who are genuinely suffering have an effective weapon in their arsenal against sinus symptoms.

It's "Bearly" Believable...

...that someone would want to visit Manitoba. But here it is, more evidence that the province's PR campaign has New Yorkers in its sights. I personally know a couple who traveled to the town of Churchill to see polar bears. (Apparently, this small community of 4,000 people pays $4 for a loaf of Wonder Bread.)

ETA: I'm back in Winnipeg for the winter. The blizzard in NYC actually prepared me for it.