What's Holding You Up From Moving to Winnipeg?

Is it the holdups?

Progress?

The province of Manitoba is Canada's murder and child poverty capital. But help is on the way! The powers that be have decided that Winnipeg will get its first(!) police helicopter. And to address that pesky problem of people lost to violence, there will be a tax credit for women using fertility treatments - the population should be replaced in no time.

Crime

Yes, crime (did you know there was crime in Canada? I thought it was a socialist paradise where everyone was courteous at all times). Over the weekend, two incidents happened in my neighborhood, one of which I just missed witnessing. In the first incident, I was walking back from the nearby Safeway (one of only two 24-hour grocery stores in the city) when I saw a man whose face was covered with mud. He was being led away by two men in outfits that appeared to be fashioned from neon green duct tape. Behind him was a man on a cell phone, who explained, "Armed robbery. The guy had a knife." As I continued to walk, I saw an overturned bicycle in the dirt, so I assume the thief was knocked off his bike as he attempted to flee.

The second incident was this one. (I wonder where the offender bought his wig and sunglasses. There's a store nearby that sells Halloween costumes.)

It's kind of ironic that people think New York City is dangerous; while there, I mostly just witnessed car accidents. (Well, there was that one time that I was threatened by a kid who wanted to me to get up from my subway seat so he could make a "scratchiti" masterpiece on the window. But he didn't follow through.)