If you're still considering visiting Winnipeg after reading this blog, here is one of the delightful lodging options in this town (I refuse to use the word "city"). Conveniently located in the hippie Wolseley area, it apparently accepts a variety of payment options. (Grandpa's gold tooth or Great-Grandma's wedding ring might be suitable.)
Showing posts with label For the Tourist. Show all posts
Showing posts with label For the Tourist. Show all posts
Friday, February 25, 2011
Where to Stay in Winnipeg
If you're still considering visiting Winnipeg after reading this blog, here is one of the delightful lodging options in this town (I refuse to use the word "city"). Conveniently located in the hippie Wolseley area, it apparently accepts a variety of payment options. (Grandpa's gold tooth or Great-Grandma's wedding ring might be suitable.)
Friday, December 11, 2009
Travel to Winnipeg
After reading this blog, you're probably thinking, "Sign me up for a tour of Winnipeg right now!"
Well, there are several transportation options available to you. You could fly into Richardson "International" Airport, although there are no direct flights from most major cities. You could also hop on a train; it takes around two days to get to Winnipeg from Toronto or Vancouver. (There are no direct trains from Montreal, so you have to first take a six-hour train from there to Toronto and spend the night.)
Union Station, Winnipeg's, VIA Rail station, seems deserted, and the gift shop is devoid of any items. When you walk into the station, the lone clerk looks at you with suspicion. (It must be noted that VIA Rail engineers like to go on strike, so you might be stranded in Winnipeg if you do finally arrive here.) Amtrak only crosses the border in New York. Apparently, when Winnipeg was considered more of a destination (I assume this was many years ago), there were more options for cross-border train travel.
People can still take a two-day, three-bus trip from Chicago, or a much shorter trip from Grand Forks, ND (also quite the destination), although some claim that the U.S. Canada border is one of the rudest in the world. Within Canada, there is a Greyhound bus that can take you from Edmonton to Winnipeg. However, this route is notorious for random beheadings and cannabilizations.
Still want to visit?
Well, there are several transportation options available to you. You could fly into Richardson "International" Airport, although there are no direct flights from most major cities. You could also hop on a train; it takes around two days to get to Winnipeg from Toronto or Vancouver. (There are no direct trains from Montreal, so you have to first take a six-hour train from there to Toronto and spend the night.)
Union Station, Winnipeg's, VIA Rail station, seems deserted, and the gift shop is devoid of any items. When you walk into the station, the lone clerk looks at you with suspicion. (It must be noted that VIA Rail engineers like to go on strike, so you might be stranded in Winnipeg if you do finally arrive here.) Amtrak only crosses the border in New York. Apparently, when Winnipeg was considered more of a destination (I assume this was many years ago), there were more options for cross-border train travel.
People can still take a two-day, three-bus trip from Chicago, or a much shorter trip from Grand Forks, ND (also quite the destination), although some claim that the U.S. Canada border is one of the rudest in the world. Within Canada, there is a Greyhound bus that can take you from Edmonton to Winnipeg. However, this route is notorious for random beheadings and cannabilizations.
Still want to visit?
Friday, October 30, 2009
Why Does Anyone Fly Air Canada?
Typical round-trip weekend fares from Winnipeg to Chicago:
Air Canada $1009
Delta Airlines $261
Northwest $261
United Airlines $371
Air Canada $1009
Delta Airlines $261
Northwest $261
United Airlines $371
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Flight of the Bumblef***
Although Winnipeg Customs officials like to play fetch with explosives-sniffing dogs, the folks at the security gate are seriously hardcore. I found out this weekend, when I flew to a town even further into the boondocks of Midwestern Canada (where the main attraction is a bar where you spin a roulette wheel to try to win a free steak dinner). At some of these bumblef*** airports, it's standard procedure to manually search EVERY carry-on after it passes through the machine. (It must be said that my experience was not as bad as that of the poor wheelchair-bound woman in front of me on my return trip. She made the mistake of naively carrying three transparent plastic bags, into which she had deposited all of her medications. Well, every single item in that bag was opened by a particularly diligent - and moronic- "security" agent.)
On my flight out, I noticed that every single person who walked through the security gate was setting off the alarm. So, every single person was being wanded by Security. I made the mistake of remarking about this to the woman behind me. "It must be broken," I opined. "Maybe I should just take off all my clothes," I went on, not thinking of the consequences. I preemptively took off my shoes and placed them in a bin.
Well, this was the red flag the security people were waiting for. They saw a harried pregnant woman and that was it. "Come over here, ma'am." Reluctantly, I did. An older man with a buzz cut asked me "how I was doing," in a tone of voice that said, "I want to get your goat." Mistake number two on my part - I replied, "Great, except my flight is boarding."
This provided the incentive for the man to slow his manual search of my handbag to a snail's pace. It was excruciating to watch him go through my Atlantic, my Economist. Finally I just put my hand on the bag and (mistake number three) blurted, "Just empty it out!! I'm from New York and they don't make you go through this, and WE'RE the ones who got hit on 9/11." The man said smugly, "You're in a different country now, ma'am," and called in a reinforcement - a female security official with overplucked eyebrows and a tight face. "I was trying to search this woman's bag and she grabbed it," he tattled.
"I just want to get on my flight, because it's boarding. Now where's my other bag????!"
"What other bag?" they both looked at each other and asked.
"My OTHER BAG that was just RIGHT HERE," I replied. "If something happened to it..."
It turns out I was considered such a threat that my other bag, which contained such contraband items as underwear, was put through the machine AGAIN after I made my ill-advised comments. I stood there while yet another official looked through all my undergarments. It was all I could do to not continue mouthing off.
I know I should have kept quiet, but I was pissed off because I'm pregnant and wanted to be left alone. However, I can't really complain after seeing what the handicapped woman had to go through. And I have now realized that if you want to get on an airplane in Midwestern Canada, you should leave an extra hour, because that's how long it will take for Security to manually search your bag.
On my flight out, I noticed that every single person who walked through the security gate was setting off the alarm. So, every single person was being wanded by Security. I made the mistake of remarking about this to the woman behind me. "It must be broken," I opined. "Maybe I should just take off all my clothes," I went on, not thinking of the consequences. I preemptively took off my shoes and placed them in a bin.
Well, this was the red flag the security people were waiting for. They saw a harried pregnant woman and that was it. "Come over here, ma'am." Reluctantly, I did. An older man with a buzz cut asked me "how I was doing," in a tone of voice that said, "I want to get your goat." Mistake number two on my part - I replied, "Great, except my flight is boarding."
This provided the incentive for the man to slow his manual search of my handbag to a snail's pace. It was excruciating to watch him go through my Atlantic, my Economist. Finally I just put my hand on the bag and (mistake number three) blurted, "Just empty it out!! I'm from New York and they don't make you go through this, and WE'RE the ones who got hit on 9/11." The man said smugly, "You're in a different country now, ma'am," and called in a reinforcement - a female security official with overplucked eyebrows and a tight face. "I was trying to search this woman's bag and she grabbed it," he tattled.
"I just want to get on my flight, because it's boarding. Now where's my other bag????!"
"What other bag?" they both looked at each other and asked.
"My OTHER BAG that was just RIGHT HERE," I replied. "If something happened to it..."
It turns out I was considered such a threat that my other bag, which contained such contraband items as underwear, was put through the machine AGAIN after I made my ill-advised comments. I stood there while yet another official looked through all my undergarments. It was all I could do to not continue mouthing off.
I know I should have kept quiet, but I was pissed off because I'm pregnant and wanted to be left alone. However, I can't really complain after seeing what the handicapped woman had to go through. And I have now realized that if you want to get on an airplane in Midwestern Canada, you should leave an extra hour, because that's how long it will take for Security to manually search your bag.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Do You Want to Connect Here?
I don't know where the hell this major Winnipeg airline goes to, but I wonder if they charge a $150 change fee if you have to reschedule your flight because you were hospitalized for a minor health emergency at 7 months pregnant. Way to treat the incubators of the next generation, United Airlines!
Seriously, though. Does Bearskin make you pay in furs, or something? And what is up with all of these animals around here. At Winnipeg Customs today, a uniformed security officer led a velvety black dog back and forth. After the canine sniffed at the few of us who were standing on line, the officer took him away... and began playing fetch with him right in the room. I guess there aren't a lot of security threats over here.
(P.S. In the very unexpected event that you decide to fly from New York to Winnipeg, here is a word of warning. Because this is such an oft-visited destination, there are no direct flights from New York, so you have to connect through Chicago, Minneapolis, or Toronto. If you take a later flight to Chicago (on the beloved United Airlines), it will inevitably be late. Soon, a horde of people connecting to San Francisco will be given a gate number and a free pass to get off the plane before anyone else, and you, the lonely traveler to Winnipeg, will be ignored. You will probably miss your connecting flight to Winnipeg. Just for fun, my husband and I tested this out on two separate occasions, and yes, the San Franciscans were given priority service. I got to spend the night at a choice motel 15 miles away from O'Hare.)